Female Empowerment Tour

Today I spoke at the NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners) Conference in Phoenix, Arizona.

I loved meeting the women from all over the country who are devoted to their own businesses. These women are my passion. It makes me happy to be surrounded by women who take charge of their own lives, take their destiny into their own hands, and CREATE their own future.

For the women of Phoenix today, Seattle earlier this week, and Newark last week (at the COUNT ME IN conference) as promised, here are the bullet points of my speech:

1. More women are starting businesses than getting married - in a bad economy, no one does better than an entrepreneur.

2. Fear is our enemy. Just surrender to it and breathe through it. Everyone is afraid every day! Own your fear, and know that whatever you fear, you must conquer!

3. Failure is a muscle you must learn to use. We have to fail more than we succeed if we are in the game. Every time you fail just know – by going up to bat again, your odds just got better to succeed.

4. Sometimes when you win...you lose, and sometimes when you lose...you really win. Everything happens for a reason, and only time will reveal its true purpose.

5. Follow Your Bliss With A Backup Position. Perhaps it means doing something totally out of your normal realm, like investing in real estate. What ever it is, do something you're cold and emotionally detached from - something that can generate passive income and will allow you to take quantum risks.

6. Don't change your lifestyle when you begin to make money - use the money you make, to make more money for you.

7. You’ve heard the clichés before, but some of them ring true. There is darkness before there is light - things get really bad before they get better. You will be tested over and over... and you will almost give up... and then, suddenly the light appears.

8. Sometimes you have to get in the boat and allow the river to take its course. When everything you try ISN’T working – Surrender! (This is the lesson that I struggle with most.) Follow the river and allow the signs to appear.

9. Fall in love... with yourself! There is no Prince Charming in real life, and if one should appear, be wary - the price will be too heavy. I suggest that you “Marry Yourself”. Know that you are the only one that you can depend on. Once you know you can do it (that you can make yourself happy) the “icing” on your life will appear. I am very happy with my soul mate and one of the reasons that the relationship works so well is that I have no expectations of him “saving me” – nor do I place the burden on him of making me happy - only I can take on that mission.

10. Life doesn't get easier - sorry! It just doesn't. There are new obstacles, old obstacles, new lessons, and lessons that you have had to learn again and again. Get over it and stop complaining. All humans are in the same boat. We are here on a journey to experience all that is life – love, loss, learning, suffering, and hopefully, incredible joy from time to time.

11. Happiness. Life isn't what you thought it would be... most of the things you thought that would make you happy (a mate, kids, a career, money, etc.) may intermittently make you happy, but don’t rely on them.

In my experience, I have found only one thing that works for me. I am committed to growing every day, by any means necessary. That means coaches, classes, therapy, reading, workshops - whatever it takes!
Furthermore, I give to myself. I choose two things a year to work on for the year (no more, otherwise I won't accomplish them). I’m not talking about the things that I do for my son, my man, my parents, or my community; but specifically selecting two things for me. I usually pick one personal (health, wellness, beauty) and one along the lines of my vocation or interests (career, hobby, intellectual stimulation).

You might laugh, but my personal task for this year was getting laser hair removal (time consuming and painful, but definitely worthwhile) and learning how to use my computer (albeit 15 years behind the times).

GROWING EVERY DAY makes you feel good about yourself, which in turn empowers you and makes you more successful. And the best part is, no one can take this away from you. Only YOU have the ability to make it happen.

Well, that's all for now. And thank you ladies for all your passion and gratitude.

Nely